Luxury in Lahore…

Just arrived in Lahore [a 7.30am flight, which meant quite the early morning [5.30am] for this little researcher…especially difficult withe lack of coffee in this country!].  Luckily Mehjabeen decided that it would be nice for us to enjoy a bit of a relaxation session, and put us up at the Lahore country club, on par with Sindh club – tennis courts, pool and all.

Although when Mehjabeen says relax, what she really means is stay at a lovely club with a jam-packed schedule in Lahore.  Today I have a 2.00pm meeting with Shirkat Gah [women’s group in Lahore] to discuss the theoretical foundation of my gendered thesis work, then site seeing in Lahore with our driver Omar, then possibly a radio interview about our research.  Tomorrow we have a 9.00am start, for a 9.30am tour of Government College (GCU), then a presentation at GCU about our research to professors and others(?), then discussion of our work, lunch, and another presentation of our research to the WWF-Lahore office.  Then time with Mehjabeen to discuss our research, and the suggestions from the different presentations.  Then some museums, mosques, and other sites in Lahore with Mehjabeen, to be followed by dinner at her home. Thursday, refresh work and have a morning interview with SHE magazine of Pakistan, spend time with Mehjabeen, until check out at 4pm, and traveling to the airport for my 6pm flight back to Karachi.

Quite the busy schedule.  However it is nice to be out of Karachi for a bit, especially since they are going on 3 days of power outages due to the rain.  However their has been talks [and demonstrations] in Karachi suggesting the storms are just an excuse to cut and conserve power…hence the reason I have had no internet connection for a few days.

Little things…

Today consisted of preparation, presentation, and a present [to self].  Allow me to explain.  After Rab’s ‘announcement’ on Saturday afternoon that Miriam and I would be giving presentations of our research thus far to the office and ‘guests’ on Monday afternoon, Sunday become an exercise in endurance – how long I am able to concentrate before my illness forces me to rest – the good news being I managed to ‘run the distance’.  So when Miriam and I met with Mehjabeen [our external supervisor, and the remarkable women responsible for organizing the Pakistan Field Research Programme that is facilitating my research, is in town from Lahore], we both had rough powerpoint slides for her to review as a snapshot of our progress.

It turned out much better than I thought it would considering the slightly delirious state I created it in [I partly believe that I distracted them with social theory and photographs of children].  It was also a wonderful opportunity to sit down with Mehjabeen and Rab for 4-5 hours this morning and dissect some of the struggles of the field, as well as beginning to think more seriously [ok a lot more seriously] about my methodology, and how that will translate into analysis.  I was also able to begin to enrich and find support for a developing gendered section of my thesis that has actually come out of my reactions to the field and the perceived needs and gaps in knowledge and understanding both within WWF as well as the communities.  This area is something that I am deeply interested in and and excited to investigate through research, however I just wish I could have been more prepared for it in terms of academic literature review.  However, as Mehjabeen pointed out this section might be an opportunity for me to situate the research I am doing into a more national literature framework as to create connections and relevancy, at which point she offered me a wonderful connection with a women’s organization within Pakistan to utilize as a resource that will have a library of literature on the subject as well as local experts in the area.  So that is quite an exciting development that I hope I am able to pursue in my ever decreasing time frame and impending deadline of doom [September 1st!].

After reviewing and revising the presentations with supervision, it was time for their debut.  Definitely nervous, as I presented first, but I think my nervous sweat was more than masked by the fact that air conditioning was not working at WWF today [only fans] and about 10-15 people were crammed into a small conference room, so my nervous  perspiration passed for environmental context [it is always best to find the positives when a/c stops working in 35C [95F] degree weather].  The comments posed by the audience were both helpful and insightful, again poking into methodology, which was quickly become a itch I could not reach in the middle of my back, resulting in a spreading sensation of discomfort.  However I managing to escape unscathed and only slightly sweaty.

At which point Mehjabeen decided that we should ‘reward’ ourselves for all the hard work that we have been doing over the past week and a half, and spend the evening relaxing in Karachi.  This consisted of going for coffee [actually coffee, which I have not had since I left the UK and was desperately missing] at a posh hotel bar [bar in the non-alcoholic sense, clearly] with lavish couches, beautiful artwork, crisp classical music and complementary cinnamon iced tea while our other drinks were being prepared.  It was a quite little haven in the voluble discord that can be Karachi.

It was also delightful being able to spend some time with Mehjabeen outside of the office.  She is individual responsible for the creation and continuation of the Oxford-Pakistan Field relationship, she has both cultivated and cared for it.  This concern is then translated into a strong level of institutional and individual support for us which is difficult to find in research, and near impossible at the MSc level.  Mehjabeen has such presence, it is palpable to all those around here.  She exudes this gentle, calm and effortless elegance yet in such a way that commands respect and admiration.  Her soft-spoken tone compels others to quite, thereby amplifying her voice in a distinguished way.  She carries herself with a confidence that others admire, her demeanor is not one that can be taught rather is cultivated through generations of socialization in the realms of affluence, education, and charity.  I really admire her, she is like no one I have met.  I have already learned a great deal through her supervision of my research, and feel privileged to be one of the many things delicately wrapped in the cocoon of concern she has for all things she does. [But I digress]

We then traveled to do a little shopping [retail therapy] to the silver and jewelry bazaar.  Mehjabeen had to take one of her bracelets in for repair, and offered an an insiders view to the best shops, especially for silver.  Turns out quality hand-crafted silver jewelry is a hidden steal in Karachi…so I bought a little something.  Two delicate silver bangles…I have never been a bracelet person…not even much of a jewelry person, but they looked timelessly simplistic and beautiful, and well ridiculously affordable…so I couldn’t say no.  Sometimes it is the little rewards that you buy yourself that make the stress a bit more manageable…like coffee and silver bangles.

Dissertation as a fluid concept…

With my 6 hours of sleep, and breakfast delivered to my room as a wake up call, as it is every morning [3 pieces of toast with jam and butter on the side – strawberry or apple jam have been the flavors so far, I am hoping for a grape day soon – and a scrabbled egg cooked just a bit thicker than a crepe with thick pakistani tea]…I made my way into the office to reflect upon my dissertation.  I considered two options:

1) Scrap the whole lit review, start from scratch on policy networks, flows of information, and community based management systems, possibly getting into the whole power/knowledge concept [oh Foucault]…getting at how communities believe they are able to ‘mobilize’ their knowledge up the policy framework, what is the role of NGOs in this network [what is their function, do they serve to legitimize the communities to the government?] and without WWF how can the communities sustainably develop?

2) Retrofit my dissertation lit review of the dichotomous relationship between local ecological knowledge and ‘western science’ around an applicable concept of how communities adapt to solve resource management problem [decline in fisheries and livelihood]

After a chat with Rab, the resource management coordinator at WWF and a truly helpful resource that has been working with us every step of the way, we decided it was best to go for option 2.  At first I was skeptical, I didn’t trust my previous theoretical work to produce any added value to the reality of the situation, but of course grounding in theory, especially for an NSEP degree is important/necessary [actually had a wonderful little chat with my neighbor/good friend Simon who just arrive in the field in India about the frustrations of theory and its lack of applicability in the field, and the effort and struggle spent just trying to fit the two pieces of reality of the field and theoretical concepts into a cohesive one, like two ill-fitting puzzle pieces].  So Rab and I discussed the various possibilities and the more we talked it through the better [I of course am a person that needs to talk through conceptual issues to arrive at a solution…not one of these types that can just sit and think about it…I thrive off the interaction].

So now the plan is to focus on the communities [nearly scrapping policy altogether…based on the fact that communities tend to distrust the government, the corruption problems at various level…again it might work in theory, but not in reality].  Then take a closer look at the communities perceptions of fishing decline, considering that WWF [ina political ecology sense has transplanted their western conceptions of conservation onto communities and built of networks such as CBOs to legitimate this knowledge as ‘community based’].  However as you listen to the discourse of these communities are they just parroting the ideas back at WWF calling it community so that WWF will continue to support them.  Then how does that lead to sustainable solutions?  As still no reason has been found to exist for the fishing decline…and the CBOs are now saying things like ‘industrial pollutants’ ‘sanctuary’ ‘fishing seed’ ‘eco-tourism’…these are trained concepts of problems.  Their is also the issue that often these CBOs represent the most powerful, wealthy individuals in the community who have ‘not gotten their feet wet from fishing in years’.  So is anything really changing for the truly marginalized fishing folk?  And if WWF is supporting this ethos, and it is not grounded in the communities, rather it is transplanted onto them, is it a realistic approach to sustainable resource management.

Therefore I am going to speak with CBOs and marginalized fishing villages try and discriminate the differences, is it possible to get at the local ecological knowledge, is that knowledge being translated upwards, or is it just western discourse being translated into Sindhi.

As Rab puts it ‘is the brainwashing working?’ – I don’t think I can quote that in my dissertation, but I appreciate that WWF accepts the power of their influence and can question if it is the best way to help the communities, even when they are no longer working on the project.

I am still flushing out my methodology, but would more than appreciate any suggestions/comments on this work in progress.

Finally, as I was being driven home today, sitting in the backseat [I feel it is an implicit understanding that I/women are not to sit in the front seat…even today when it was just the driver and I] I was staring out the window, absorbing, marveling…and sometimes the depth of the economic disparity just juxtaposes itself perfectly in front of you.  Two lanes over a heavy set, well dressed white man was sitting in the backseat of a luxury vehicle talking on his blackberry, escorted by a local driver next to whom sat a Pakistani guard with his automatic rifle cradled between his knees in a foreboding and clearly visible manner.  Then, in between our two vehicles was a run-down chipped and rusting [even lacking in any designation of make or model] small four door car with [from what I could count] four people in the front seats [making three in the passenger seat…spilling onto the ‘console’ area] and seven in the back, a mixture of women and children effortless squeezed in together…one little girl was laying in the back window area…comfortably resting like you would place a sun-drenched doll in place.  As I quietly looked out, they looked back at me excitedly smiling like children watching a panda exhibit in the zoo.

I don’t think I look too much like a panda [or koala] but I sometimes feel my willingness to look back easily, smile, meet their eyes is quite a foreign quality…like spots on a panda.

A day at the Lake…

I am dreadfully tired from my first day of ‘field work’ [it was supposed to be an introduction…but turned out to be so much more…amazing!]…and so I couldn’t imagine not writing at least a bit about it before I am off to bed.  Woke up at 6.30 to leave for the field for about 1hr 30min rough drive [I don’t think I have mentioned that the driving here is utterly ridiculous…no traffic rules apply, no lanes, not even directional flow of traffic really matters…it is more like bumper cars/motorbikes/bicycles/pedestrians…and peppered with potholes and bumps] so when we finally arrived we had a round of introduction with the three site officers, talking about our research aims, and the current status updates from the field [note: my research might have to change last minute…ahhh!…more on that later though…].

Then they wanted to show us the field…Keenjhar is quite a large lake, so we started off at 10am, planning to visit a number of villages, and CBOs [Community Based Organizations] groups, which is a clustering of about 5-9 villages with chosen representative board of the community.  The first community we arrived to, had convened the CBO board to meet us, and give WWF an update of their progress…I was astounded…we met in an open room, were brought traditional Pakistani tea [yes Amanda, I felt like I was living Three cups of tea] and discussed the problems that plagued the local communities, of course translated from Sindhi to English by our site officers [however the Head Officer of the COB could speak near fluent English].  We were able to ask questions [although we had nothing prepared…] so it was broad based conversation about challenges and possible community based solutions.  It was surreal, I was siting as one of three women in a open meeting room [with children peeking in the windows] and speaking with a community full of elders, internally bursting with hope that my meager MSc can do something realistic and useful.  My mind was spinning what could I do, how can I research enough, write enough, do enough to make a tangible change this community can use.  Their eyes staring through me, expecting that I, with my education from abroad can bring the answers, and I just want to show them that I am just here to facilitate the change they can accomplish through the amazing things they are already doing, like organizing themselves to speak against the Industries, the government.  Overwhelming in the realization that I could never do enough…the best I can do is try, try to help this situation that I barely understand, grasping to theory imported from Oxford Press Publishing…wondering if it is even relevant as I listen about the political corruption selling off fisheries seed rather than filling the lake, about the Rangers taking over resources because they are the military and they can, listening to communities use foreign phrases that WWF has explained to them as buzzwords ‘mobilize’ ‘Ramsar site’ ‘sanctuary’ ‘conservation’.  And that was just village one…7 or more to go.

But as it is 1am, and I have to be in the office early tomorrow, I will highlight some of the more salient moments [because there is no way I could explain how memorable the day actually was].  So after visiting the first village, having tea, talking with elders we visited a number of the village within that CBO community, one of which had recently received a solar panel with assistance of WWF as a ‘tradeoff’ for the conservation of reeds for fuel and monetary purposes…they were so excited.  They showed us how is powered a light-bulb in their home…just one light-bulb, just one little energy efficient light bulb.  I took photos [thanks Dad…the camera is beyond perfect], and at first the children were shy, but once I showed them how it worked they LOVED it…I even had a women come up to me and say ‘ok, you can take my photo now’ and smile.  At the time, since this was the first village where I was interacting with the community and taking photos I didn’t realize how unique this actually was…upon reflection my photos are mostly children and men, that is because the women we arrive tend to stay indoors, and just peer out from their windows…privately.  Additionally the main elder came up to me while I was taking photographs and their was a boy with a deformity on his face, and he told me that he took a picture of him on his phone and whenever he is in Karachi he shows the pictures to try and find doctors for the boy…he asked me then to take a photo…the boy was shy and embarrassed…my heart broke.

A little while later we went for lunch, it was outside on the opening of an adobe style building…outside because the power had stopped and the fan in the office/meeting room/living room.  It was a traditional Pakistani lunch, and it was absolutely amazing, chicken [with local sauce], rice, and roti [naan bread]…one of the site officers had called in the morning to tell them we were coming for lunch…I am pretty sure the chicken was killed after the phone call.  Lunch was followed by a traditional Pakistani drink, I think it was watered down curdled goats milk with salt, served chilled…seriously…that was the description [although I am not sure about the goat part]…and seeing as it is rude to refuse, and everyone downed their, I sipped, after about 5 small sips I couldn’t do it…I apologized and excused my ‘weak’ stomach for my rudeness, they smiled and said it was fine, they even apologized for my lack of enjoyment of it…Pakistanis are an amazingly kind and generous people.

From there we traveled to numerous other villages, with the support of WWF and a small government subsidy some are trying to install biofuel pits to make sustainable gas for their stoves…they dig a pit through stone and gravel some 15ft down, and then lay bricks and then create a cover for the pit…intense labor.

In one of the villages WWF had helped to build the infrastructure for a women’s vocational school, and we were able to communicate with the girls about this opportunity…they were learning how to sew, and hoping to sell their products on the market, but lacked the knowledge and ability to get the clothes they were learning to make to any such market.  However the school provided the women the opportunity to meet on a regular basis and discuss issues related to health and their community, a rare forum and opportunity for women in Pakistani village and certain cultures.  I asked [had translated] the question of what challenges they face, what other goals they have now that they have a vocational school [women’s educations??]…they replied readily and easily that they needed another teacher for when the only one was sick or could not come, so they could learn more patterns and things…a mention of advancement to learning about computer was even mentioned [I was tempted to hand over my MacBook…these women were inspiring].

Of course their is so much more…but this is quite long…and I am impressed if anyone made it to the end.  I have included some photos from today at the bottom…as well as updating my flicker page [their are some 66…and as it turns out flicker take ages to upload so I am going to let it work while I sleep].

'This is the future of Pakistan, out here with no education...' Rajeed- Keenjhar site manager for WWF

Watching men dig the pit for biofuel.

'You can take my picture now'

In the home with the light-bulb.

He asked me to take a photo and print it for him...

First day at the office

Today was the first day at the WWF office, meeting loads of interesting people and settling into a work routine.  I am just settling back into my dissertation mindset, a shift from the exam mode I was in for the past four weeks.  It is then I had the realization that I have 3500 [tentative] words of a literature review, and need to be working through a methodology section quite quickly as tomorrow I am already headed to Keenjhar Lake to meet the site staff.  I know that this month will go by impossibly quick, and August even more so as I write up…and I just wonder and hope it will come together into a coherent document.  [Not to mention of course that I should – key word should – be looking at jobs as well]….but I am a one step/mountain at a time person, although maybe an application here and there wouldn’t be too tough…maybe.

Also, I had a chance to meet most of the individuals that are working in the office, although my introduction was generally…’this is Sarah, one of the research interns from Oxford…’.  Not that it is not true, just it was purposed a more of a definition and explanation for my being there.  Not to mention this implicit responsibility to embody ‘an Oxford student’.  Throughout the course we have discussed the Oxford brand, what it means, what it achieves, and why…but never have I felt so ‘branded’.  I just it is to be expected, and that brand is quite an amazing thing to possess…possess by not defined by.

Additionally I was have a discussion today with one of the project directors and was attempting to understand the hierarchial structure and flow of information between government entities and communities, thereby hopefully finding or creating a stakeholder position for [in this case] the fishing communities.  It is not that the system is intensely intricate, rather the power dynamics that exist are…which is true of any culture, but it is one thing to understand how the democratic and republican parties interact in Congress because it is a part of your everyday political culture.  It is quite another to be transported into a culture where you are completely ignorant of the power dynamic, the controlling parties…and therefore attempting to distinguish the underlying context, meaning and perspective that each person your speak to has regarding structural and power dynamics.  Each individual incorporates their own bias, and a month is not adequate time to shift through a load of bias…oh political ecology.

As a final note I finally have some proper clothes…so I will see about adding some of those photo tomorrow, as well as some from Keenjhar Lake, so keep an eye on the flicker sidebar [that was a brilliant suggestion from Amanda Grosegebauer…whose blog I follow regularly and you should too!].